Redefining Your Relationship with Alcohol - Ways to Drink Less, But Live More!

The relationship between humans and alcohol is a long one with documented Intentional alcohol production by humans dating back to at least 7000 BC. Whether it’s indulging in happy hours, celebrating milestones and heartbreaks with friends, or even weekly solemnizing church rituals - alcohol is interwoven into nearly every fabric of our lives.

Perhaps it’s the traditional weekly happy hour with colleagues at the local bar. You tell yourself you’re going to “take it easy,” but it’s as if the next drink automatically appears in your hand. Or maybe you have to have a shot or two before you go out in order to enjoy yourself. Or you’ve noticed you’ve become more reliant on that glass of wine to unwind after a stressful day. 

But what happens when drinking stops feeling like a choice and starts feeling like an expectation or habit? Maybe you’ve noticed that alcohol doesn’t help your stress as much as it once did, or that dreaded “hangxiety” (the anxious aftermath of a night out) is hitting harder. And when is it time to see a substance use therapist?

Why We Drink & The Messages We Receive:

Alcohol often takes center stage at many social gatherings. In the United States, turning 21 is a significant milestone for many adults. Young professionals frequently prioritize happy hours as an opportunity to bond with their bosses and potentially secure promotions. The "wine mom" culture, glamorized on social media and in marketing campaigns, encourages mothers to pour a glass to cope with the stresses of parenting. Some common messages we receive about alcohol include:

• Alcohol is an important part of celebrations, from 21st birthdays and promotions to toasts on New Year's Eve.

• Alcohol acts as a social lubricant, helping us connect with others while reducing anxiety.

• Alcohol is viewed as a means of self-care, allowing us to relax and unwind.

Hidden Costs of Drinking:

While alcohol can have positive effects, it also has a darker side when consumed in large quantities, used to cope with emotional pain, or used over an extended period. The hidden costs of drinking can include:

• The Dreaded “Hanganxiety”: A night of drinking intended to alleviate anxiety can lead to waking up with a racing heart, irritability, feelings of guilt or shame, and a lingering sense that something is wrong or about to go horribly wrong.

• Poor Sleep Quality: Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, meaning it slows down brain activity and causes sleepiness. Although it may help you fall asleep faster, it negatively impacts the restorative stages of sleep, such as REM. As a result, you may wake up feeling groggy and reaching for ibuprofen and hammering down caffeine.

• Productivity and Performance: Regular alcohol consumption can impair concentration, memory, motivation, and decision-making—factors that are particularly significant for young professionals managing demanding careers.

Redefining Your Relationship with Alcohol:

Here’s the secret: Sobriety isn’t black or white. Redefining your relationship with alcohol doesn’t mean you have to quit drinking altogether - it’s an invitation to become curious about your relationship with alcohol and to question, challenge, or change why and how you drink. It’s about shifting your mindset from autopilot to making intentional choices when it comes to alcohol and the role it plays in your life.  Here are few tips to get you started:

1. Track Your Drinking. This isn’t about judgment; it’s data-gathering. Track which days you are drinking and which you are not. Notice how you feel before a night of drinking compared to the next morning. Get curious about any themes in your drinking patterns, such as drinking to ease anxiety in social situations or using alcohol to release stress at the end of a long week.

2. Set a Clear Limit Before You Head Out For the Night. Once you’re at the party or bar, it’s hard to find the space to think through how much you want to drink that night. You may already have your first drink in your hand. Before heading out, determine a set number of drinks for the night that you want to experiment with. For example, setting a limit of only 2 drinks at the office Christmas party so that you can stay present in conversations and not be totally useless the next day. Write it down in a notebook, on your phone, or even a little piece of paper that you can stick to the inside of your wallet or purse. Remember - this isn’t about failure; it’s experimentation. If you're not able to stick to the limit you set, that gives us more data moving forward to reevaluate our decisions/choices.

3. Alternate Between Alcohol and Non-Alcoholic Drinks. Experiment with drinking a non-alcoholic beverage for every beer you have. This could include water, soda, NA beer, or mocktails. This approach can also help with the always awkward “why aren’t you drinking” question as many of these drinks mimic the appearance of an alcoholic drink.

Interested in more ways to get curious about your drinking? Download my FREE “Surviving Happy Hour” E-Guide.

When to See a Substance Use Therapist:

Sometimes, cutting back on your own feels harder than expected. You may notice that:

• You drink more than you planned, even when you try to limit it.

• You feel guilt or shame about drinking.

• Alcohol has become your go-to way of coping with stress or anxiety.

If any of these feel familiar, it may be a sign that substance use counseling could help. Working with a substance use therapist can provide tools for managing stress, reducing anxiety, and exploring your relationship with alcohol without judgment or pressure.

At Wandering Beagle Counseling, I specialize in working with young adults and young professionals to rethink their relationship with alcohol and other substances. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to recovery; everyone’s journey is unique. Together, we can identify what YOUR path to recovery looks like.

Choosing What Works for You

Redefining your relationship with alcohol is not about following rules or adopting labels—it’s about reclaiming choice. Whether you decide to cut back, explore alcohol-free living, or simply become more aware of your habits, the goal remains the same: to live in a way that supports your mental health, aligns with your goals, and reflects your authentic self.

So, the next time you’re handed a drink, pause and ask yourself: Is this what I really want right now? The answer might surprise you.

If you’re curious about exploring your own relationship with alcohol—or if anxiety and stress feel overwhelming—I help young adults and professionals to help them find healthier ways to manage life's challenges. Wandering Beagle Counseling  offers anxiety therapy and substance use therapy in both Evergreen and Westminster, Colorado. Reach out to start the conversation today.